Arbutus Coaching’s Blog

New Year’s Resolutions Workshop in Victoria, B.C.

By arbutuscoaching | January 6, 2010

With the start of the new year, many of us are taking stock of our wins, what we learned and what we would do differently if we had the chance to do things over. Filled with resolve, we made resolutions at the beginning of the New Year, determined that this year will be different.

We’ll finally shed that last 10 pounds that’s sticking around like a South American tin pot dictator who has named himself president for life. We’ll quit that job that leaves us drained instead of invigorated after finding a new job that allows us to use our strengths and fills us with passion. We’ll stop living paycheque to paycheque or maxed out on our credit cards and finally empower ourselves financially.

If you’re like most people, with the best of intentions and the strongest resolve, three weeks into 2010 you embarrassingly admit that you’ve given up on your resolutions and that this year looks like it will be no different than 2009.

If I’ve just described you, don’t be down on yourself; this experience is all too human. If you’ve failed at previous New Year’s resolutions, you’re in good company. Ninety per cent of those who make resolutions fail at them, and most by the third week of January. Only 10 per cent go on to succeed.

Wondering like I did what qualities those who succeed share? As a life, business and results coach and a student of success, I’ve learned that success leaves clues. People who are successful at their resolutions do more than wish for a better new year, they create a plan and work it.

If you want to significantly increase the probability that you’ll be in a different place financially, health, career or relationship wise at the end of 2010, you’ll want to attend my New Year’s resolution seminar, From Goal Setting to Goal Getting, Creating Your Best Year Yet.This is a popular seminar and seats fill up fast. To attend, you must reserve your seat in advance, so if you’re interested contact me as soon as you can, by calling 250 388-6108, or emailing Kathy@Arbutuscoaching.com

Date: Wednesday, Jan. 13, 2010 Place: Esquimalt Recreation Centre, 527 Fraser Street, Esquimalt, B.C.Time: 7-9:30 p.m.Cost: $30

P.S. At this seminar, I’ll be announcing a more in-depth program which starts at the end of January to help you create a fabulous 2010. For a sneak peak, visit www.arbutuscoaching.com/seminars.php

Kathy Santini
Arbutus Coaching – Growing People and Possibilities
250 388-6108
Kathy@ArbutusCoaching.com
http://www.ArbutusCoaching.com

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What do you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?
Mary Oliver, poet

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The key to success

By arbutuscoaching | January 6, 2010

The number one reason people don’t succeed is they don’t have a why. Ask yourself why you’re going after a goal? What’s inspiring you to do it? If you can’t answer that question passionately, then there’s a good chance you’re not going to succeed.

All too often I see people fail at their goals, instead of succeed, because someone else thinks they should diet, exercise, make more money, change their jobs, spend more time with the kids and less time at work or fill in the blanks.

The key to success is finding the why. Wonder why? Because the two overarching drives driving human behaviour is our desire to avoid pain and our desire to seek pleasure. And here’s the key point: we’ll do more in the short term to avoid pain than we will to seek pleasure.

So if you have a NY resolution, like dieting, as a client of mine did, you must find a carrot to get you moving in that direction. Stop thinking about all the things you’ll lose by dieting, focus instead on what you’ll gain.

For my client, we discovered it was the fact that she wanted to spend time with her soon to be born grandchild. Off came the weight and down came her blood pressure without the pills because she had a why. The why led to her how.

What carrot can you find, like the greyhound chasing the bone at the track, to make a goal more enjoyable? Success is all about finding the why, the how will then follow. To your success!!!!

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Success Tip –Changing Your Perspective Changes Your Life

By arbutuscoaching | December 31, 2009

While I wouldn’t put myself in the same category as Ebenezer Scrooge, I’m not a big fan of Christmas. I stopped being one when my parents split up many years ago. Recently as a way of coping I went to sunny locations, and stuck my head in the sand to pretend it wasn’t the season.

This year, I had a thought. What if instead of disliking Christmas, I made a determined effort to like it? And so I did. I went down to the Empress and looked at all the beautifully decorated trees. I was touched by the hand written decorations, where people wrote: “My Xmas wish is to have my uncle Gary survive his cancer surgery, or “I want to spend the whole vacation with my older sister Julie.”

I walked down Government Street and admired the decorations. On Xmas day I spent it with friends and really got into the day with their children, who were just a delight. While I won’t bore you with everything else I did to love the holidays, I have to say it was one of my best Christmases yet.

Which raises the question: where in your life can you change your perspective about something, so that you too can turn lemons into lemonade? Perspective as coaches know is everything. It opens up a world of opportunities, new options and experiences.

As for me, I can’t wait for next year’s Christmas season. As my nephew used to say when he was younger, only 258 more sleeps.

Happy New Year!

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New Year’s Resolutions Seminar for Victoria, B.C. residents - from goal setting to goal getting

By arbutuscoaching | December 22, 2009

As we approach New Year’s, many of us are taking stock of our wins, what we learned and what we would do differently if we had the chance to do somethings over again. Filled with resolve, we make resolutions at the beginning of the New Year, determined that this year will be different.

If you’re like most people, with the best of intentions and the strongest resolve, three weeks later you embarrassingly admit that you’ve given up on your resolutions and that this year looks like it will be no different than 2009.

If you want to significantly increase the probability that you’ll be in a different place financially, health, career or relationship wise at the end of 2010, you’ll want to attend my New Year’s resolution seminar, From Goal Setting to Goal Getting, Creating Your Best Year Yet. In it I’ll reveal proven success strategies that if followed, will help you create a fabulous year, one that you’ll remember.

This is a popular seminar and seats fill up fast. To attend, you must reserve your seat in advance, so if you’re interested contact me as soon as you can, by calling 250 388-6108, or emailing Kathy@Arbutuscoaching.com

Date: Wednesday, Jan. 13, 2010 Place: Esquimalt Recreation Centre, 527 Fraser Street, Esquimalt, B.C.Time: 7-9:30 p.m.Cost: $30

P.S. I’d love it and be very grateful if you are reading this blog if you’d tell your friends, co-workers, family or anyone else you know who you think might benefit from the seminar. And they’ll be grateful too, a year from now as they reminiscence about their year and think about how the seminar helped them reach their 2010 goals and made it their best year yet. Thanks and happy new year.

P.P.S At this seminar, I’ll be announcing a more in-depth program which starts at the end of January to help you create a fabulous 2010.

Topics: Success, workshops | No Comments »

Success Tip From Jack Canfield via Coach Kathy Santini

By arbutuscoaching | December 15, 2009

I had the great pleasure recently of listening to Jack Canfield, best selling New York Times author of the Chicken Soup for the Soul series talk at a speakers’ boot camp I attended in Los Angeles.

When Jack Canfield talks, I’m all ears. Why? Because for years he’s been a student of success, worked with W. Clement Stone, has built a successful speaking, writing and coaching business and is the author of another bestselling book, called The Successful Principles.

In future blogs, I’ll outline more of Jack’s pearls, boy that man can pack a lot of incredibly valuable information into a one-hour presentation.

One of the biggest takeaways was his statement that everything we want is just outside of our comfort zone. That’s so true, isn’t it? What’s also true is that most of us don’t want to feel uncomfortable, so we stay inside that zone. And that doesn’t serve us well in the long run.

Remember back to when you were 12 months old and just learning to walk? What if you hadn’t liked the fact that when you let go of the coffee table and tried to walk to your Mom, you fell down after taking your first shaky step? If you hadn’t gotten over feeling uncomfortable, your parents would still be lugging you around in a car seat, which is awfully hard on your back when your child is 32 and weighs 160 pounds.

The point is this. For very few of us – think Hubbel Gardner in The Way We Were –things come easily and we don’t need to leave our comfort zone. Not so much for the rest of us. If you want to be successful, you have to allow yourself to feel uncomfortable, with the knowledge that whatever you’re doing will become easier over time.

As Jane Fonda was fond of saying, no pain, no gain. Or as the Nike ad says, “Just do it.”

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Seven Traits Successful People Share Part Three

By arbutuscoaching | December 8, 2009

This is the third of a three part series on the seven traits successful people share. To view the previous posts, visit Arbutus Coaching’s blog, http://www.arbutuscoaching.com/blog

5. Get Outside Your Comfort Zone
Consistent action will get you to the top, but the guaranteed fastest way to accelerate your results is to do something that is outside your comfort zone. Successful people realize this. They decide what they want and then take action towards it even if it scares them. Of course the problem is that going outside your comfort zone is, well, uncomfortable. Since unsuccessful people steer clear of discomfort they avoid stretching themselves and then wonder why they fail to create the lives they want. Here’s the bottom line. Everything you have today lies within your comfort zone; if you want more than you have now, you must go beyond your comfort zone and do something different.

6) Be a Lifelong Student
Many unsuccessful people are closed to suggestions and new ideas. Their know-it-all attitude dooms them to repeat the same mistakes over and over. After all, how can you grow beyond where you are now without listening to feedback and new ideas? Great achievers like Tiger Woods and Michael Dell have a passion for implementing new ideas and approaches. They value learning and spend many hours reading, working with coaches and studying the work of masters in their field. If you wish to be more successful you too must become a master in your field.

7) Develop Persistence
On the journey of life we all encounter adversity, failure, misfortune and pain. The question is not whether you will experience problems and setbacks. You will. The crucial question is, how will you respond to these challenges when they arise? When things get tough, unsuccessful people allow obstacles and failures to stop them in their tracks. They complain, get discouraged and quit, abandoning their initial goals to pursue something easier. Successful people stay committed to their goals.

To summarize, successful people do things that unsuccessful people won’t or don’t do.

Topics: Success, Arbutus Coaching | No Comments »

Seven Traits Successful People Share Part Two

By arbutuscoaching | December 4, 2009

A previous blog post outlined the first two traits successful people share. They were the ability to take full responsiblity for their actions as well as the ability to delay gratification. Today’s blog outlines traits three and four.

3) Be True to Yourself
Every person I have ever met has desires deep in their heart; a life they feel called to live. Unfortunately many people fail to follow their own path and instead end up living lives that are not their own. Essentially they sell themselves out. Being true to yourself means listening to your heart and making choices that align with your values; decisions that take you towards the authentic life that is calling to you.

4) Take Action
Think about the successful people you know and you will quickly realize that they are all action takers. Lots of people sit around dreaming and talking about the great things they are going to do, but most of them accomplish very little because they never follow through on their ideas. Instead they procrastinate, allow themselves to be distracted by unimportant things or spend their time planning instead of doing. The world belongs to those who take consistent action day after day, week after week and month after month.

The last three traits of successful people will be outlined in the next blog post, so stay tuned!!!

Topics: Success, Arbutus Coaching | No Comments »

Seven Traits Successful People Share

By arbutuscoaching | December 1, 2009

There are seven differences between people who create amazing success in their lives and those who don’t. The seven will be outlined over three separate blog posts: this is the first of three.

1) Take Full Responsibility
Successful people take full responsibility for everything in their lives - the things they do, the results they get and even things that happen to them that appear to be beyond their control. Unsuccessful people are masters at finding ways to blame other people or circumstances to justify their failures. Most of the time when you are telling others a story about something that happened to you, there is a 99% chance you are casting yourself as a victim. Victim or victor for you?

2) Discipline & Delayed Gratification
Discipline is something unsuccessful people avoid at all costs. They believe they are entitled to freedom and self-indulgence without taking any responsibility for the long-term consequences of their actions. The result is total disaster. They spend money they don’t have, creating consumer debt that destroys their freedom and limits their future. They eat what they crave and spurn exercise, then suffer the pain and limitations of poor health. They live lives of irresponsibility and self-gratification, then wonder why they fail. Self-discipline, while not always pleasant, is the key to creating the life you want. All highly successful people have goals and dreams, and then intentionally live their lives in a way that takes them towards their objectives. Their engrained habits of self-discipline and delayed gratification allow them to act spontaneously at times without experiencing serious negative impact.

The next blog post will outline two more of the seven traits successful people share.

Topics: Success, Arbutus Coaching | No Comments »

Five Tips for Surviving and Thriving Over Christmas

By arbutuscoaching | November 26, 2009

For many people, Christmas is a trying and emotional time. A friend of mine, a therapist, says that business is historically up the month before Christmas, as people gear up for what is an emotionally and challenging time for most of us.

Even though advertisers idealize the season, the truth is that most of us come from more or less dysfunctional families, nothing like the Hallmark cards or commercials that are presented as reality Repeat after me, “The Waltons weren’t real people, it was just a TV show, The Walton’s weren’t real people, it was just a TV show.” With this in mind, take the stress off yourself and don’t expect miracles family wise at Christmas.

To increase your enjoyment over Christmas, consider doing the following:

v Set a budget for what you’re going to spend and stick to it. Nothing ruins Christmas memories more than a large Visa bill in January. Some of the best gifts are your time, attention and love.

v Lower your expectations about the holidays, they don’t have to be perfect. Besides, we all define perfection differently.

v Consider staying at a hotel instead of your parent’s home over the holidays, because absence does make the heart grow fonder and gives both your relatives and you a well needed break. Remember, familiarity breeds contempt, especially at Xmas.

v Give your friends and loved ones the benefit of the doubt when they say or do something that would normally trigger you. Remind yourself that while we cannot control what others do or say we can change the way we think about things.

v Limit demands and ultimatums; replace “should,” “must” and “have to” with “I wish,” “maybe” and “my preference …” Through your example, your relatives might do the same.

Topics: Self care, Boundaries | No Comments »

Success Tip - Coaches Know That It’s All About Your Mindset, So Think Your Way to Success

By arbutuscoaching | November 25, 2009

Does Your Mindset Need an Overhaul or Tuneup?

As someone who has worked with people for years, I find it fascinating how we all think; in terms of thoughts, one size definitely doesn’t fit all. I’ve seen people with tremendous talents who don’t reach anywhere near their potential, and others who, from my viewpoint at least, who have not as much talent, but manage to do very, very well indeed.

The determining factor? Their mindset, which is primarily about two things: the stories they tell themselves about theirselves and the people, environments and opportunities that they expose themselves to.

So what story do you tell yourself about yourself? It doesn’t really matter what it is, as long as it’s working for you. The problem is that most of our stories were “handed down,” to us by the people who surrounded us when we were growing up. And here’s the rub, some of their stories about us were just plain wrong and influenced by whatever baggage they brought with them from their childhoods.

The question to ask is this: is it time for a new story? Reinventing yourself is yours to do. One of the more dramatic reinventions in our popular culture is Angelina Jolie, who went from wearing previous husband Billy Bob Thorton’s blood in a vial around her neck to now being a UN goodwill ambassador and mother of six kids. Is it time you did the same, more or less dramatically?

In addition to your internal story about yourself, your mindset is influenced by the environments and people you expose yourself to. If you want to think big, or bigger, it helps to surround yourself with people who are already there, or at the very least a few steps further up the path. As Dr. Phil says, put yourself in target rich environments and soak up what you can from that world. It will pay off in spades.

Take Action Challenge

Decide to improve and grow your mindset, like you would a plant, by feeding it well, putting it in an optimal environment and nurturing it with care. Monitor your thoughts and ensure that you are as kind to yourself as you insist on being treated by others. And lastly, do something to improve your mindset, by exposing yourself to situations, “peeps,” and educational opportunities that you wouldn’t normally expose yourself to. You’ll be amazed at how quickly your world will change.

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New Year’s Resolutions Workshop in Victoria, B.C.

The key to success

Success Tip –Changing Your Perspective Changes Your Life

New Year’s Resolutions Seminar for Victoria, B.C. residents - from goal setting to goal getting

Success Tip From Jack Canfield via Coach Kathy Santini

Seven Traits Successful People Share Part Three

Seven Traits Successful People Share Part Two

Seven Traits Successful People Share

Five Tips for Surviving and Thriving Over Christmas

Success Tip - Coaches Know That It’s All About Your Mindset, So Think Your Way to Success

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