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Coaching tip - Generosity begins with self-care

By admin | July 31, 2007

An friend of mine named Andrew wanted to change his life and change his life he did. He put his house in L.A. up for sale and within 30 minutes it was gone.  A week later, he was in New York City, looking for a new place to live. He wrote to a group he and I belong to, telling us how generous a member  of our group named Kim had been to him.  A flurry of emails followed, from a number of people, also singing Kim’s praises. 

Although I hardly know Kim at all, my guess about her is this. Kim gives so lovingly of herself to others, because she’s got something left to give. And the only way to have something to give to others is by first giving to yourself, or what in coaching terms we call practicing self-care.  We’ve all had the experience of having people “generously,” offer to do something for us, only to have them complain throughout the whole experience. I believe that’s because they themselves are running on empty, and they have nothing left to give.

So the next time someone asks you for something, take a moment before answering yes and seriously ask yourself if you have anything to give. Or would everyone  be better served if you began looking after yourself? Self-care is the starting point for me with all my coaching clients. Because if good self-care practices are lacking, chasing after a goal or dream is like building a house without a foundation. And we all know what happens to a house of cards.

What, if anything, do you currently do, to practice self-care? If your answer is nothing, don’t worry, it’s never too late to start. You might explore: starting a meditation practice, having down time just for you, taking a walk in nature, going for a manicure or pedicure, or starting an exercise program. And if you can’t rationalize doing it for yourself, do it for your loved ones. They, like my friend Andrew, will be ecstatic to be on the receiving end of a cup that’s flowing over, like our friend Kim’s, over finding themselves at a well that’s run dry.  Generosity truly begins with self-care.

Kathy Santini
Arbutus Coaching – Growing People and Possibilities
250 388-6108
Kathy@ArbutusCoaching.com
http://www.ArbutusCoaching.com


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What do you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?
Mary Oliver, poet

Topics: Self care |

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