Arbutus Coaching’s Blog

Welcome to Because Life Isn’t a Dress Rehearsal, a blog written by life and business coach Kathy Santini, owner of Arbutus Coaching. This blog contains coaching tips and advice to help you become the most self actualized, effective person you can be, both personally and professionally. If you’re serious about “growing your possibilities,” and transforming your life, then you’re in the right place. My goal in writing this blog is to help you create a life that is easier, bigger, richer and more rewarding than the life you’re living now. So let’s get started shall we, because life isn’t a dress rehearsal and time’s a wastin’.

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Increase Your Chances of Success By Asking for What You Want

By arbutuscoaching | October 7, 2009

Because of our fear of rejection, most of us are afraid to ask for what we want. We’re so paralyzed by the fear of rejection and disapproval that we’re afraid to ask for anything out of the ordinary. We just accept what is offered to us and hope for the best.

Successful people, however, learn how to get over their fear of rejection, by calmly and confidently asking for what they believe to be within reason. The truth is you’ll be astonished at how many yeses you’ll get just by asking for what you want.

The following story illustrates that point. One of my client’s dreams was to own waterfront property, but he felt it was out of his price range. He had followed our local real estate market for a couple of years and had noticed two properties that had been listed repeatedly without success. I suggested that he call the homeowners of the two houses he was interested in and ask to meet with them. He garnered up his courage, met with them, told them why he thought their homes were so special and then asked if they were still interested in selling.Both homeowners said yes.

Encouraged, he told them his budget and asked them if they would consider selling for that price. Homeowner number one was terribly insulted while homeowner number two was less than keen. My client left his phone numbers with both, knowing that one would not bite and that the second seemed unlikely too.

While he was right in both these cases, he learned that using his asking muscle wasn’t as hard as he thought it would be and that the results weren’t catastrophic. Long story short, he tried it three more times and is now the proud owner of a house on the water.

The lesson in all this? Learning to ask and overcoming our fear of rejection is a muscle that successful people master if they want to increase their chances of success. Good sales people know this; they have a formula for how many prospects have to say no before getting a yes.What have you been unwilling to ask for because of your fear of rejection?

To increase this muscle, start with something small, that you’re not invested in getting. And if the results aren’t what you want, create a story about why the person said no that increases the chances that you’ll use this muscle again, on bigger and better things.

By doing so, you too may find yourself, against all odds, living on waterfront property.

Topics: Success |

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